im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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