If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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