Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
