Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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