I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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