I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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