in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
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