i permit you to call me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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