Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
