I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
