Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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