If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
