I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
