so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
