The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize