Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
