The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
dude. I can hear the air.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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