and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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