I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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