we made out on top of his cat.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
