i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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