Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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