I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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