win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
