god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
