Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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