Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
