He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
