Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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