new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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