You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize