So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
wow bdsm is so cute
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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