Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
