Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
