Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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