I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
