white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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