I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
