just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
