i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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