Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
