So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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