Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
