i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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