where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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