Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
