Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
