This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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