it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
