Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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