Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize