is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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